Inclusion Looks Different in January Than It Did in September

In September, inclusion is more of a natural state within schools.  Just by the nature that everything is new, new teacher, new friends, new classmates, new schedules and rhythms to the day.   When everyone is new, everyone is also a little different.   

Then things get rolling and the rhythm takes shape and students know the daily and weekly routines of their classroom.  They know their teacher’s mannerisms, energy levels, and even triggers.  They know who they like to play with at recess and who is safe to sit with at lunch or in music.  

But inclusion for kids with disabilities and behavior and learning differences can look very different by January.  Everyone comes back buzzing with excitement from a fun holiday, and students are happy to see their peers again.  Kids with disabilities often were even more painfully isolated during the winter break.  Often they don’t get “dropped off” for a day long playdate at a peers house, because they require more from their parents and this is not an option.   For me, this was never an option.  You can’t drop your daughter with Cerebral Palsy unable to walk at someone’s house as you wave walking to your car, saying Have Fun.  It just never looks like that.  Planning, the right other parent, the right house, the right friend, the timing, all of this is like planning for a 200 person wedding reception, not a playdate.

Holidays are often very hard on parents and kids with disabilities.  Explaining your child’s behavior, sensory challenges, and over stimulation gets exhausting, and the judgement and opinions are crushing.  

Coming back to school can be another challenging transition again, and now students have to once again learn the rhythm of the day and the school.   

Inclusion doesn’t just happen after one SEL session or a message of “We are always kind.”  Kindness and true understanding are way different things.  Understanding helps a student take that step towards a peer with a disability to ask them to play, or work on a project together, or talk.  Understanding is the actual BRIDGE, not just kindness and compassion.   Kindness is amazing, but understanding changes perspectives.   

We need to work harder to help students actually UNDERSTAND their peers, all of them, and not just be kind.  We need to have teachers model and fertilize UNDERSTANDING within themselves and as a mirror to all students.   This alone changes a school.  It changes the very fabric and culture of a school and it builds a tangible community, not just lovely words and theory.